Cor Blimey, how you do go on.

Okay, my husband sent this cool site to me, http://www.effingpot.com/ which is a glossary of Brit-speak for Americans. He apparently lived in Texas for awhile and used his experiences to write the list. It’s fairly exhaustive, but has some definite errors as well as assumptions that some of these words aren’t used by Americans, and have been for a very long time…since before the invasion of Britcoms, to be honest.

Here’s one that’s incorrect:

“Nark - If someone is in a nark, it means they are in a bad mood, or being grumpy. It's also the word for a spy or informant.
For example a coppers nark is someone who is a police informant - which you might call a stoolie or stool-pigeon. The origin
is from the Romany word, nak, meaning "nose".”

Now, I don’t know about the Romany (Gypsy) word nak. But the American slang word Nark or Narc comes from Undercover Narcotics Officer, usually someone who is masquerading as either a high school or college student. They would get friendly with dopers and their suppliers and then “narc” on them, or turn them in. So now to be a narc is to be yes, a stoolie or stool-pigeon: informant.

Here’s another:

"Shammy - I think you call these wash leathers. They are the completely useless cloths, originally made from the skin of the
chamois - a wild antelope, the size of a goat. They dry rigid and leave horrible streaks across the windows they are supposed to clean!"

I’ve never heard a chamois called “wash leathers” in my life. Maybe in North Carolina or some such place, but it’s a chamois (pronounced shammy). I wonder if he knows you’re supposed to rinse the thing out and then wring it very well before you use it?  I’ve never had a problem with them streaking.

"Plaster board - Sheet rock in Texas. In the UK, plasterboard is used to make ceilings and is also used to make internal walls, it is
then covered in a thin layer of real plaster, except in cheap modern houses. In Texas, entire houses are made from sheet rock, which
is a bit worrying if it is windy or rainy! If the three little pigs had lived in Texas, they would have been eaten! In some states call it's
called "plaster board" like it is here in the UK and others it's called drywall."

Okay, we do not make our entire house out of sheet rock or dry wall…heavens! The house is framed with wood, insulated and then various outside coverings are used, including adobe, hardi-plank, siding, brick, Austin stone.... Only the interior walls have sheet rock on them, and they're still framed inside with 2x4s at the very least. Oy gevalt!

And he seems to think “sofa” is the only word we use for what they call a couch. Well, we use the word couch, a lot, along with sofa and divan. Although divan is not used quite so much anymore. It’s what my grandmother called her sofa. :)

And he seems to have a problem figuring out why we call a restroom a restroom. That one might be a bit tougher, if you aren’t very old. They’re called that because back in the day, restrooms in nicer restaurants, hotels, theaters, and department stores had an outer room with a sofa and very often little sundries like mouthwash or lotion available, and they had an attendant. The attendant was there to watch your purse or briefcase while you went to the loo, and keep the place neat and clean all day long. You often left a tip in a little basket. So they really were places to rest as well as relieve yourself.

There are some under slang that we—at least I and my family—have used forever in the US:

To go on a bender means to basically go on a non-stop drinking spree; blast or blast it all; blinding; Bob’s your uncle; botch; cheeky; cram, for studying hard; dim to mean thick or stupid; and every cowboy called food “grub” in the westerns; haggle; hunky-dory, and in shambles are all examples.

"Piece of cake - I remember saying it's a piece of cake in front of one of my American friends,
who then started looking around for the cake! It means it's a cinch!"

Dunno what kind of dimwit friend he had, but we’ve used this forever. Means the same as “easy as pie,” or a “walk in the park.”

"Piss poor - If something is described as being "piss poor" it means it is an extremely poor attempt at something."

Again, totally US term.  Same here:

"Plastered - Another word for loaded. In other words you have had rather too much to drink down your local.
It has nothing to do with being covered with plaster though anything is possible when you are plastered."

"Shitfaced - If you hear someone saying that they got totally shitfaced it means they were out on the town and
got steaming drunk. Normally attributed to stag nights or other silly events."

 

Now here’s one we use but to us it means 6 of one, half a dozen of the other:

"Sixes and sevens - If something is all at sixes and sevens then it is in a mess, topsy turvy or somewhat haywire!"

Here’s a few that are definitely ones we’ve used for ages in the US:

"Sloshed - Yet another way to describe being drunk. Clearly we need a lot of ways to describe it since
getting plastered is a national pastime."

"Twat - Another word used to insult someone who has upset you. Also means the same as fanny but is less
acceptable in front of your grandmother, as this refers to parts of the female anatomy. Another use for the
same word is to twat something, which would be to hit it hard. Get it right or I'll twat you over the head!"

"Yakking - This means talking incessantly - not that I know anyone who does that now!"

"Zonked - If someone is zonked or "zonked out" it means they are totally knackered or you might say exhausted.
When a baby has drunk so much milk, his eyes roll into the back of his head, it would be fair to say he was zonked!"

I’m beginning to think that perhaps there are some of these that went to England some time ago, since I believe our TV went there before theirs came here, and 30 or 40 years ago entered the lexicon in the UK and he just ran into a great number of idjit Texans.

 

As for correcting our grammar…Not everyone in England is paragon of grammatical correctness, so stuff it. :)