Horror films R Us

So. If you haven't guessed already, I live in Texas. Texas is hot. Texas has never been properly socialised. Texas has assholes in the Governor's Mansion and most of the senate and house.

Texas has bugs.

Big. Bugs. Spiders, scorps, centipedes you could put on a leash and take for a walk. Roaches that ask for the keys to your car.

Fortunately, I have never seen one of these, else I might not be alive to write this.

http://dorothyramon.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/

Eventually even the nicest houses get bugs in Texas.  Termititis is not a matter of of if, but when. Carpenter ants. Fucking Fire Ants (they can die in HELL). And these humongous tree roaches that invite themselves in during wet or cold weather and, like the worst houseguests, never leave.  They hide in insidious ways and then fuck a lot.

Please note: this is NOT my hand....NFW  Random pic from teh intarwebs
just to give you scale.

Also note, I know bugs are bigger in Belize, you don't have to show me, thanks.

So. These little (little?) fuckers had set up shop in my pantry. I don't think UGH is quite strong enough to portray my disgust. I had put out those bait things where they're supposed to dine, go back to the nest, die, and let their cannibal relatives eat them so they die, too.  Yeah...not. They would eat the stuff, decide to stick around, shit on things, lay their nasty little egg cases, then try to crawl across the floor but be so sick they couldn't make it...

This actually isn't my worst roach encounter...I should tell you about my kitchen in Mid-City, New Orleans....but I'm sure you've probably already lost your lunch.

Some time ago I had made sorta kinda loose plans to remodel my tiny pantry. It's got deep, particle board (read cheap) shelves where things get lost and organisation is just a buzzword. I'd show you the before, but I pulled everything out last night about midnight. On Thursday I told Silly Man that I'd had it with our little guests and it was finally time, this weekend, to tear it apart, paint it, make new shelves, etc. and use high-density roach poison for glue. Last night...I couldn't stand it any longer and started pulling things out, I got most of it out and this one cheeky, enormous fucker decided to flaunt my efforts...it didn't end well for her. Bitch.

So. That's my project, forsaking all others for this weekend. I want to do some things like these:

Apologies to whomever's photos I just nabbed. I will take them down if you contact me.

The door is only 17 7/8" wide. These very handy Bekväm spice racks from IKEA are exactly the right length. 

And I have four of them, so they might get used some place...but I'd rather make something like the last pic above it. I want to put things I cook with all the time and non-refrigerated condiments (e.g. ketchup) on the door. Spices, bottles, etc.  I have a whole slew of Indian spices that are on the metro shelf right now, getting exposed to light. BUT  (isn't there always a but?) I already have four of the little racks, they are the right size, and....no sawing. That's gotta be worth something, not to mention the time saved planning, buying, cutting, painting. I'll still paint them, though, because the raw wood would get grease-stained very quickly. I'll probably need a couple more.

 

I will try to be more diligent about posting pics and all. I really want this done THIS weeked HAHAHAHAHAHA....eh hem. One thing I excel at is scope creep.