Sunday, April 23, 2017

The Devil in the Detail

I have punished myself for over 20 years...how and why you ask?

Well, the how is simple. I keep my house in an ungodly state of ....disarray? mess? chaos? shittiness?  which keeps me not only mentally unable to do the things I REALLY want to do, but physically keeps me from doing them, too.

Why?

Good fucking question, y'all.


I had this table nearly cleared off...and it is again, and in my defense, I was shifting things around trying to clear the BIGGER mess on my cutting table. *sighs* But this photo captures my world, my mind, the clutter that has become my life. I am not truly a horder...really... No...really! lol   But...I am a clutterbug. I can use all kinds of excuses, my ADHD, depression (erm...we know the clutter actually contributes to the depression, kind of a catch 22 sort of....fing...), because I work and have no patience/energy to deal with it when I get home...or maybe I'm just lazy...

But the root of it is my child mind doesn't think I'm worthy...yeah, it's the ol' lack of self worth rearing its ugly, pathetic, moronic head again.  I wish to kill it...yes...kill it.

I actually have cleared about 18" off the cutting table...woot.  Back for more...



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