UK-speak *giggles*

From the Dictionary of English Slang.  Seems like one would need to be very careful about -ff, -ffer, -ffed, -ffed as, -ffed to, -ffing, -ffin', and to whom one is speaking.

chuff	Noun. 1. Rubbish, nonsense. E.g."That film was boring, too long, and generally just total chuff." 2. The anus. [Orig Aust.] 3. The vagina. 4. A passing of wind from the anus, a 'fart'. Also used as a euphemism for 'fuck' in expressions such as the denial - "Did I chuff!" Verb. To break wind. E.g."She chuffed just as we were saying grace before dinner"
chuffed	Adj. Pleased, delighted. Compare with 'dischuffed' and 'chuffed to buggery'. E.g."I'm well chuffed at the result." [1950s]
chuffed as nuts	Adj. Extremely pleased.
chuffed to buggery / fuck	Adj. Very pleased. E.g."She's chuffed to buggery that they are marrying before the baby is born."
chuffer	Noun. 1. A contemptible person. 2. An annoying, difficult or disappointing occurrence. E.g."It's a right chuffer, breaking my leg just before the football season starts." Chuffer is a euphemism for 'fucker'.
chuffer (train)	Noun. A train. Children's talk. Also chuff chuff.
chuffing	Adj. An intensifier, and euphemism for 'fucking'. E.g."That chuffing idiot scratched my favourite CD and now it sticks on the third track."
chuffin 'ell!	Exclam. Expressing anger, surprise etc. A euphemism for 'fuckin hell'.

Cor Blimey, how you do go on.

Okay, my husband sent this cool site to me, http://www.effingpot.com/ which is a glossary of Brit-speak for Americans. He apparently lived in Texas for awhile and used his experiences to write the list. It’s fairly exhaustive, but has some definite errors as well as assumptions that some of these words aren’t used by Americans, and have been for a very long time…since before the invasion of Britcoms, to be honest.

Here’s one that’s incorrect:

“Nark - If someone is in a nark, it means they are in a bad mood, or being grumpy. It's also the word for a spy or informant.
For example a coppers nark is someone who is a police informant - which you might call a stoolie or stool-pigeon. The origin
is from the Romany word, nak, meaning "nose".”

Now, I don’t know about the Romany (Gypsy) word nak. But the American slang word Nark or Narc comes from Undercover Narcotics Officer, usually someone who is masquerading as either a high school or college student. They would get friendly with dopers and their suppliers and then “narc” on them, or turn them in. So now to be a narc is to be yes, a stoolie or stool-pigeon: informant.

Here’s another:

"Shammy - I think you call these wash leathers. They are the completely useless cloths, originally made from the skin of the
chamois - a wild antelope, the size of a goat. They dry rigid and leave horrible streaks across the windows they are supposed to clean!"

I’ve never heard a chamois called “wash leathers” in my life. Maybe in North Carolina or some such place, but it’s a chamois (pronounced shammy). I wonder if he knows you’re supposed to rinse the thing out and then wring it very well before you use it?  I’ve never had a problem with them streaking.

"Plaster board - Sheet rock in Texas. In the UK, plasterboard is used to make ceilings and is also used to make internal walls, it is
then covered in a thin layer of real plaster, except in cheap modern houses. In Texas, entire houses are made from sheet rock, which
is a bit worrying if it is windy or rainy! If the three little pigs had lived in Texas, they would have been eaten! In some states call it's
called "plaster board" like it is here in the UK and others it's called drywall."

Okay, we do not make our entire house out of sheet rock or dry wall…heavens! The house is framed with wood, insulated and then various outside coverings are used, including adobe, hardi-plank, siding, brick, Austin stone.... Only the interior walls have sheet rock on them, and they're still framed inside with 2x4s at the very least. Oy gevalt!

And he seems to think “sofa” is the only word we use for what they call a couch. Well, we use the word couch, a lot, along with sofa and divan. Although divan is not used quite so much anymore. It’s what my grandmother called her sofa. :)

And he seems to have a problem figuring out why we call a restroom a restroom. That one might be a bit tougher, if you aren’t very old. They’re called that because back in the day, restrooms in nicer restaurants, hotels, theaters, and department stores had an outer room with a sofa and very often little sundries like mouthwash or lotion available, and they had an attendant. The attendant was there to watch your purse or briefcase while you went to the loo, and keep the place neat and clean all day long. You often left a tip in a little basket. So they really were places to rest as well as relieve yourself.

There are some under slang that we—at least I and my family—have used forever in the US:

To go on a bender means to basically go on a non-stop drinking spree; blast or blast it all; blinding; Bob’s your uncle; botch; cheeky; cram, for studying hard; dim to mean thick or stupid; and every cowboy called food “grub” in the westerns; haggle; hunky-dory, and in shambles are all examples.

"Piece of cake - I remember saying it's a piece of cake in front of one of my American friends,
who then started looking around for the cake! It means it's a cinch!"

Dunno what kind of dimwit friend he had, but we’ve used this forever. Means the same as “easy as pie,” or a “walk in the park.”

"Piss poor - If something is described as being "piss poor" it means it is an extremely poor attempt at something."

Again, totally US term.  Same here:

"Plastered - Another word for loaded. In other words you have had rather too much to drink down your local.
It has nothing to do with being covered with plaster though anything is possible when you are plastered."

"Shitfaced - If you hear someone saying that they got totally shitfaced it means they were out on the town and
got steaming drunk. Normally attributed to stag nights or other silly events."

 

Now here’s one we use but to us it means 6 of one, half a dozen of the other:

"Sixes and sevens - If something is all at sixes and sevens then it is in a mess, topsy turvy or somewhat haywire!"

Here’s a few that are definitely ones we’ve used for ages in the US:

"Sloshed - Yet another way to describe being drunk. Clearly we need a lot of ways to describe it since
getting plastered is a national pastime."

"Twat - Another word used to insult someone who has upset you. Also means the same as fanny but is less
acceptable in front of your grandmother, as this refers to parts of the female anatomy. Another use for the
same word is to twat something, which would be to hit it hard. Get it right or I'll twat you over the head!"

"Yakking - This means talking incessantly - not that I know anyone who does that now!"

"Zonked - If someone is zonked or "zonked out" it means they are totally knackered or you might say exhausted.
When a baby has drunk so much milk, his eyes roll into the back of his head, it would be fair to say he was zonked!"

I’m beginning to think that perhaps there are some of these that went to England some time ago, since I believe our TV went there before theirs came here, and 30 or 40 years ago entered the lexicon in the UK and he just ran into a great number of idjit Texans.

 

As for correcting our grammar…Not everyone in England is paragon of grammatical correctness, so stuff it. :)

 

And then again...

I had some brilliant discussion going in my head (I won't tell you where I was, but I've heard it said 'tis the seat of all brilliant thought) and had no paper suitable for writing, so of course, now hours later, I can't recall it. Something to do with questioning the authority of That Book.

There are many misbeliefs concerning religion, spirituality, and religion vs. spirituality. The best definition I heard--I'd credit it, but I can't remember where I read it, although I'm pretty sure it was Dianne Sylvan's preliminary intro for her maybe new non-fic work, but she's taken the link down, so I can't check it--is that religion is public, what you do in a group, it's the trappings, the ritual, the building (if any), codified thought, etc. Whereas spirituality is private, between you and your deity(ies). It could, therefore, be argued that an Atheist has a religion: public "averrance" (is that a word? Apparently, a lot of people think so on the 'nets, but in fact, it's not) that there is no god, goddess, higher being, deity, divine one, insert euphemism of your choice, and that by the very nature of that faith, there can be no spiritual side to Atheism. On the other hand, I suppose it could follow that spiritually, the Atheist believes there's no god, that is his/her personal belief and because there is no god, there cannot be a religion because there's no church, no dogma, ritual or buildings....except that they DO have dogma, trappings, a library...so it fits the requirements of a religion.

I have no issues with Atheism, it's as valid a belief system as any out there. And just as filled with misinformation, hatred, and misunderstanding as the next set of beliefs. I think the funniest thing I've seen on their "official" site is "religion is ridiculous." *snorts* Well...you've just said your belief system is ridiculous. Like it or not, if you believe "religion" is a belief system, then Atheism does in fact fall into the category of religion, although etymologically, I'm incorrect. I will continue to think of a faith in the absence of [euphemism of choice] and the public trappings of that faith constitute a religion, a religion without spirituality.

It would be amusing, if it weren't so scary, to watch the two sides, the RTCs* and the Atheists slug it out, metaphorically speaking of course. And...the RTCs wouldn't be alone. There would be the RTMs, the  RTJs, the RTPs** to name a few, all against the Atheists, and then when the As had been suitably reprogrammed, the RTXs would start on each other. I think we Pagans would just kind of roll our eyes at all of them and hare off to the woods to have a bit of fun, letting everyone else self-destruct.

Ah, such fancies I amuse myself with. Where was I? Oh yes, That Book. I don't knock That Book (TB), it has some rather worthwhile things in it, neither do I think it's a record of who hung the moon and stars...well, perhaps Who, but not how.  I do not see TB as the be-all, end-all, definitive authority on AEU*** Objectively, how can it be? I mean really, if the RTCs would get their collective heads out of their collective asses, they'd realize this.  Hey, far be it from me to try and convince them...as long as they return the favor. I think that's my take on almost all religions. As long as you aren't sacrificing small children or animals, do whatever the fargle you want to do, just don't try to push your twaddle off on me. If I'm...whoa...I just had a lightbulb moment...If I'm destined to be one with X-faith, I will find it.  Someone correct me, but I believe that the Xtians are the only religious bunch who proselytize...everyone else takes the stand that you can come seek us out. Pagans don't, Muslims don't, I know Baha'i don't... Jews don't, neither do Hindus, Buddhists... The lunatic fringe groups don't count, btw...being lunatic fringe by definition requires you to seek out adherents and then suck them in by whatever means. I would list those I consider dangles in that fringe, but lunatic trolls are not my faves.

As  you can tell, none of this is very intellectual, or researched; really more just ramblings about the absurdities in the world. Why is religion so important? Why have so many died in the name of religion, yet we keep coming back to it? I can't dismiss the idea of the Whole being greater that the sum of its parts. The Divine is that which ever was, is, and ever will be....everything, every neutrino, atom, molecule, person, place, or thing.  Throughout the Universe, not just in our tiny speck of a galaxy, let alone this microscopic rock we tenuously hold onto. That solidarity makes me connected to the RTCs, the As, the Agnostics, the lunatic fringe...the whole lot of them, here and on planet Xenon. My atoms are filled with the Energy that became the Universe, whether you believe it just banged into existence, was created in six days by a curious Old Man with a Beard, or carefully orchestrated into a dynamic,self-supporting mystery by a Source so unimaginably vast that the Universe just giggles every time we state "By God! This is the Way It Happened!"

*Real True Christians as out-lined in Slacktivist.
**Muslims, Jews, and Pagans, respectively (pardon me while I omit the other 90 kabillion recognized faiths of the world)
***Absolutely Everything in the Universe

Dysnomia

That's what I have!  More and more I try to remember the right word to use and simply cannot. For instance, in my last post, I was trying to remember the correct word for dicking around with that 50-ft hose, and then again at work, same word for something else I was doing, and then again today while helping my daughter...same frippin' word I was trying to find. Finally on the way home, when I was talking about what L&J still had to do at their old apartment...packing up the last stuff, this, that, and cat WRANGLING!

WRANGLING!! GAH!

Some theories include antidepressants could be part of the cause of dysnomia. Whatever...I hate it.