lists

Kidlet once sent me a piece about a woman who constantly made lists. I wish I could find it, about how this woman would fill her workday with the making of lists. Lists of lists, listing lists to be made...it made me laugh, but also take a big sigh and wonder what happened to all my lists. You see I make lists and then do one or two things and forget about the list. I find lists all over, months and years old and chide myself, why can't I finish a list, hell it would be nice if I'd go back and LOOK at the list later.

There are whole websites devoted to lists, lists of lists, list-making, and probably the ins and outs of using lists properly and for some sort of soul-searching. Fire-starting and bird-cage lining come to mind. However annoying lists might be, we make them…perhaps human sentience is, in part, defined by lists. I can’t imagine my big fat flame-point mog making a list…uh, let’s see..

• sleep on mom’s bed for 5 hours, get up
• terrorize the old dog for a bit (which involves attempting to bite her and making the poor old arthritic thing get up from her nice warm spot, simply so said cat can roll around on the doggy warmspot)
• lap water for 20 minutes
• pee
• eat
• poop
• sleep until mom gets home and can refill my water bowl…

Sounds like a life to me.

ANyway…back to my list. I have an ever-expanding list of things I’d like to blog, or journal, or expound upon, dither about…rant? In no particular order:

• Drivers
• Fat…in particular, my fat.
• My passive-aggressive mother
• My passive-aggressiveness..aggressivity..aggression?
• Ferret-face (that is the idiot whose-name-we-shall-not-utter who has squatted in the Whitehouse, and has no resemblance whatsoever to a legitimate inhabitant of said domicile)
• This odd desire I have to squish small Japanese cars with my truck…oh, right, that falls under “drivers”
• My son…ongoing thing there, of course
• Idiots, oh why don’t we just take on most of the world, here?

Okay, picking this up whilst sitting in a senior staff meeting for the college. You can see just how absorbed I am in that, right?

• Have I mentioned I HATE bras?
• Working for The Man and The Man (and yah, I’m making lists for work while I’m sitting her, too)
• Cell phones
• My odd politics
• My odder religion
• Marriage…in general…my marriage, maybe even YOUR marriage, who knows?
• People who shall remain anonymous
• Writing, angst, and inspiration
• The poltergeist in the ladies’ room
• Gardening goblins
• Unfinished projects and books half-read
• Emotion
• Orange Santa
• And of course the ever-popular rants, whines, bitches, and confusions (yes, I make up words, too…but spell-check seems to like that one, hmmm..)

And I don’t care if you don’t like my over-use of the ellipse “ …” get fucking over it.

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Meeting update. Oh, good-fucking-god, man!! Get your notes together ahead of time!! You are a professional, an assistant dean, for crying out loud, you make at least three times what I do. I should NOT have to waste my time sitting thru your total ineptitude. I’m about to chew thru the ends of my glasses limbs. My coffee heartburn is doing a slow boil to epic, ulcer creating proportions here, my back hurts and I don’t want to be here in the first place, so good work on making me even more eager to be here!! At least 75% of what they cover at these damned things don’t apply to my department…and stop hanging over me, you over-achieving little twat. Like I want you reading my oh, so carefully written notes on your…um..meeting…