Wipeout!!!!!

Happy? Good Friday?

I’ve had a lot of things I wanted to blog about lately…but this one stuck me as rather odd. I walked over to the giant-dorm-eating-facility here on campus, ordered my eggs and soy-sausage. I really am trying to give up meat…slowly, but I’m sure they thought it was because it’s Good Friday. It’s not. So anyway, I’m walking over to get my coffee and the cashier, an Hispanic lady with whom I chit-chat whenever I’m in there, tells someone, “Happy Good Friday.” ……?

Now, pardon me here…I’m not a Christian, but WTF?? Even back in the day, when I thought I was a Christian (I never really have been, I just didn’t know there was anything besides the Big Three and things like Buddhism and Hinduism), I would have tilted my head and looked at her like the proverbial hound who’s just been shown a card trick.

Isn’t Good Friday the day Christians commemorate (I refuse to use the word “celebrate,” simply because of its modern connotations) the DEATH of Jesus?

Now, I can understand Happy Christmas (a decidedly British thing), Happy Easter, Happy Ride Your Harley to Work Day, Happy Channukah…you get the idea, but Happy Day-We-Hung-up-a-Savior-and-Pierced-Him-‘Til-He-Croaked-Day? Come on, people.

Apparently, I’m in good company: both Franklin and Gandhi said something to the effect of “Christ rocked, you Christians suck.” My feelings exactly. Essentially, “Happy Good Friday” means, yah, like man Jeebus died for me, so I can party on!!

Of course, I cannot speak for Jesus, nor the Creator, as so many Christians seem to be able to (God does not want us to do X, or conversely, God wants us to do X), but somehow, I can picture Jesus, sittin’ up there, sayin’, “Yo, Dad…they just don’t get it do they? They’ve SO screwed things up, so perverted what I said…can we just like…wipe ‘em all out and start over again?”

Noah would be gleefully chanting, “Flood, flood…let’s do a flood!! Life in a tiny boat with 50 gazillion fucking animals is sooooo much fun…not. I vote flood.”

Moses would have a maniacal look on his face, “Locusts…and frogs, and then…the spankings!”

*sighs*