This needs a name. Or slacking as a career.

I can see all my new posts now: This needs a name, This needs a name #2, This needs a name #3...you get the idea.  Perhaps something will throw itself in my face as I type.

Let's face it, yours truly is a slacker. I think I wrote somewhere, sometime that I have all sorts of grandiose ideas for blog posts, short stories, how-to videos, and various projects; yet, I sit on my can and think about them, or go read, or check Facebook...again. The ennui builds up and I really have no one to blame but myself. There are so many things I could be doing, not to mention many I should be doing. So many journals started, feel-good lists started, plans for this and that, diet plans, exercise plans, garden plans, plan plans....

I know I can get things done. On occasion, I stoke up the engine, buckle down and get amazing things done. Why the giant slug act? And don't say, well, you're doing chemo.... That has nothing to do with it since I was like this before I ever even got the diagnosis. I can't even really blame the ADHD, either, this isn't about flitting from one project to another, which I've done in spades in the past (a big reason I have so much extraneous schtuff).  A chicken or egg question:  does the ennui cause the inaction or does the inaction cause the ennui?  Or...yes?

Ponder. Ponder. Ponder.

In other news, I bought a bicycle. Yeah...*laughs* you heard me, a bicycle. 40 bucks from Craigslist.  It's in pretty good condition, doesn't seem like it's been used very much, although one pedal needs replacing and the brakes need some adjusting. I added one of these to the back and bought one of these.  Yesterday I dropped the bike off at the bike shop for a tune-up, new chain ($10, it was stretched), new pedals ($7), and new brake pads ($8). All that is going to be a little over $100.  So I guess, in the long-run I didn't save much over a new big-box bike, but the advantage is I didn't have to pay it all out at once. And I love the color. :)  Eventually I will get a set of these, but in the meantime, I'm making a pannier out of an older Eagle Creek bag I have (this is the updated version of the bag, which itself has also been discontinued), using this Instructables tutorial.  My plan is to make a YouTube tutorial of my process as well. If, when I do, I'll post the link here.

I've actually been thinking about getting a bike for awhile now, but have really been inspired by a series of videos on biking in the Netherlands by this guy markenlai.  The attitude towards bike traffic is completely different there and the supporting infrastructure is just amazing.  Take a gander at the videos--they're kind of mesmerizing and addictive. Or maybe I'm just easily amused.

Well, sports fans...

It's been awhile. So. I'm mostly recovered from surgery. There are a few issues, but nothing worth mentioning or that won't eventually work itself out.

I'm finished with the first part of chemo (adriamycin and cytoxan). Not horrific, but not something I'd care to repeat, either. There are myriad descriptions, etc. out there for you to read, so I'll spare you mine.

The next round is 12 treatments of taxol. Yay. -.-

In the meantime, I've started--first day today--the Whole30 program, aka clean eating. Yes, it's sort of paleo -based and yes, paleo is the stupidest name for an eating regimen ever. If you wanted to really go "paleo" then eat roots, leaves, bugs, nuts, berries, fish, and a lot of baby animals. They were easy to catch and consume without having a storage issue. Even paleoman figured out meat went off. But, they don't push the paleo-ness part. You eat grass-fed, pastured, organic meats, wild-caught fish, eggs, veggies, fruit, and some nuts. You don't eat dairy, legumes, grains, sweeteners of any kind,  or alcohol. I'm going to be careful with the nightshades, too. I already know tomatoes often don't agree with me and I hate eggplant.

I strongly urge anyone who wants to get healthy, clear up your skin, resolve breathing issues, etc, to read the book--and read the "sciency" stuff in the first like 14 chapters.

Hey, any diet that pushes avocados and olives is just all right by me.

Anyway, this is my "commitment" page.

13 August 2014

That previous post was started before I went in hospital to have my surgery. I wasn't sure where I was going with it so I just posted it as I left it.

Even as I was being prepared for surgery I had my doubts about losing both breasts--not much I can do about it now, though--and thought, maybe I can still opt for just the lumpectomy. But I thought about it again and was content (can't say "happy") with my decision.

The surgery ended up taking nearly twice as long as predicted and I don't remember anything about them coming in the pre-op room to get me and start the IV like I have for previous surgeries and procedures.  For some odd reason that bothers me. I guess they must have given me some whopping potent shit to put me out. lol

I still have not had the courage to look in the mirror at the carnage....I've seen a bit and it's still really bruised and swollen around the left side where he took a couple of lymph nodes. I see him tomorrow and I know the drains won't come out yet (curses).

The hysterectomy part was hurting the most at first...particularly if I let all the pain meds wear off; I couldn't really stand up straight. Now it's getting better, but I'll still have to put up with damned bleeding for awhile.

Odd moment...looking down into my t-shirt yesterday and realizing I had no idea I had so many of those stupid little hemangiomas I get under my breasts...

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

I've done away with my paid domain, so if I had any regular followers *cough*, they might not be able to find me. Since I think only my best friend followed me, don't have much to worry about.

It struck me the other night that you don't have to die to become a statistic. I've become a statistic. Middle-aged, overweight, breast cancer, metabolic syndrome (aka borderline type II Diabetes); hysterectomy to finally end issues that nearly killed me before.  The Working Dead. *sighs*

This, right here. explains exactly what I'm feeling..

...and why I decided to have a bilateral, or CPM, mastectomy.

Spot. On.

23 July

Okay, so my gyno called today and wanted my cardiologist to clear me for surgery (I had a bit of an a-fib arrhythmia episode at the end of January). Long story short, his nurse called me back and set that for 4 August. Then later the urogyno office called and said since I've already met my deductible and out-of-pocket limits this year, the hysterectomy would be 100% covered. Yay!

Here's some in-depth vids of the DIEP flap reconstruction. Don't watch if you're squeemish.

Diet revamp:  it's been over two months since I had a soda (can we say jonesing?!?), given up alcohol, sugar, white carbs. coffee for the most part.